you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
