I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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