How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
