woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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