This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
