He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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