Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
