Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
