He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Green mimosas i think yes
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Edward fifth and chaser hands
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
