Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
