I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
