You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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