Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
