I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
