it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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