mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I wear drunk well.
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