She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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