Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
love makes seman taste better
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
