I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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