Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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