So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
