For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
