Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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