don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
