So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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