she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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