dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
