this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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