Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
