VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
