You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
