So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
