also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
