drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
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definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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