He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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