I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
