yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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