My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
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we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
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So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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