what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
