have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
