GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
