erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
