No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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