Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
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mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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