She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
