hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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