that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
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i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
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Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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