i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
