Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
