i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
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there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
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This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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