Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
