did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
