I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
