you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
