"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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