I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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