Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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