youre lurking in front of me
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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