its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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